After being dismissed from the Iowa State men’s basketball team Wednesday, Senior guard Caleb Grill took responsibility, and asked forgiveness.
Grill says he said something that he regrets.
Also, Grill says he’s been in a dark place.
He expressed love for all things Iowa State, Cyclone basketball, and especially head coach T.J. Otzelberger. (Otzelberger dismissed Grill from the team).
A transcript of Grill’s social media posts follows.
“I am very grateful to lowa State University for the last 4 years of my life. I got the opportunity to live the dream ever since I was kid, being able to play in Hilton Coliseum was a dream I’ve had since I was 13 years old. Every moment I’ve had at lowa State has been the best blessing I have ever received in college. I cannot thank the support network from lowa State and the fan base for truly being one of the best fan bases in the country.
“I want to thank Coach Steve Prohm for giving me the opportunity as an 18 year old kid in high school, taking a chance on me to live the dream I have always wanted. I want to thank Coach T.J. Otzelberger for giving me the opportunity to come back and play in front of 14,356 people on a consistent night. Nothing will ever take away the moments we made in that arena, especially beating lowa by lowa States largest margin of victory in the rivalries history. Beating some of the best teams in the country in Hilton this year, including Baylor, Texas, Kansas State, Kansas and TCU. I love lowa State basketball and it’s truly one of the things in life I’m most passionate about.
“My year at UNLV, I watched every single lowa State football game, every single Men’s Basketball game, and many of the Women’s basketball games as well. I love lowa State to the extent that I felt I was a student at lowa State.
“I want to thank T.J. Otzelberger for the very first coach to believe in me and recruit me out of high school. I will never forget the day we first met and I knew from that day going forward our relationship was going to be unique. You are the big brother that I never had and love you more than I could express to you. I care about you and your success so much and it has been fun being a part of your journey for the last 6 years. The opportunity you gave me to come back and get a degree at lowa State means more than any of the other accomplishments we had on the court. Being able to tell my future family about being an lowa State graduate and being a proud graduate of this University is something I will tell anyone with confidence. I love lowa State and I am proud to be a Cyclone. I want to be remembered as a Cyclone, as I played with passion every single night on the court and never took any second for granite. I want to continue to be a part of the lowa State Community and be able to hold no regrets for anything that has happened.
“I want to thank all of the coaches, the coaching staff, team managers, team doctors, and to everyone else who helped me along this journey. My success shows on the court from the months from November-March, but nobody sees what you all do for me and my teammates behind the scenes to help us perform at the highest level possible.
“I want to thank each and every single teammate that I have had in the ears at lowa State as I have built unique relationships with each and every one of you. You are all brothers to me, and some of the greatest friends I have built. We have been through the highs and lows of what comes in a season but nobody ever doubted the success that we were going to have. The trust and the chemistry between all of us, and the late nights together is what really makes this special. Going through the hardest lifts, workouts, runs, etc. is what makes our relationship so special to me. Going through hell to be able to perform at the highest level possible and then doing what we love was so fun to watch every single one of you on the court. I love each and every one of you and thank you for being special a long the journey.
“Lastly, One day, when I am brave enough, I hope to be able to share my story about my mental health and my mental illness I have been battling through all season. While everyone was commenting about the hair, or the funny actions on the court, it was a way for me to get out of that state of mind and feel like me being myself instead of the dark place I have been in this season. If it was not for the love and support from family network back home, including my mom Lena, my dad Chris, and my two brothers Kyle and Alec, I am not sure I would be alive and I would have made a decision that would have affected so many people’s lives. I cannot express the love and gratitude I have for those four people as they are the most important people in my life and being able to be with them is what has helped me out the most. I love you all very much and I want to thank you for all you have done to help me get through these times.
“Unfortunately, I said something that I regret which has cost me the opportunity to finish out my dream at lowa State. I hope that all the players and lowa State fans can find it in their hearts to forgive me.
“In the end, I want to be remembered as a Cyclone no matter what my next step is. I love Ames and I love lowa State and I will hopefully become and booster or donor someday when I get older. I love each and every person who is affiliated with lowa State and I am proud to be an alumni of this university.”
Caleb M. Grill
Loyal. Forever. True.